It was more than I expected and the revelations were much more intense.  So let’s take a look, shall we, at the three things I thought I needed to look at.

1. I am undisciplined enough to stick with a budget.  It is always so interesting to me when I put something out there like this and commit to trying to stick with a budget what inevitably happens.  The first, and most exciting result of this statement was that, in fact, I set up our money software and did, to my surprise, check it everyday and try to keep things in line.  What was interesting is that we had next to no money come in.  So it always amuses me when this happens.  But the point really was to get the junk of never knowing out of my head and into a place of awareness.

2. I am undisciplined enough to intentionally decide what I put into my mouth.  Now this was a shocker.  I was intending to just track what I was eating and try to exercise.  What, in fact, came of this was something entirely different.  I discovered I was treating food as my savior, my solace, my boredom fixer.  I discovered that I was trying to make my food behave, and feeding my stomach when I had heart and head hunger.  I discovered a much darker place inside of me than I had known existed before and it is a much bigger journey than I had ever imagined.  I am taking the first steps and it is good…

3. I am undisciplined enough to attend to my spiritual life.  This is a shedding of the scales of my cynicism.  I am working on this.

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